Evangelion Again, and again, and again and again s
by johnny o binome
Summary: Watch as Shinji grows while stuck in a time loop dependent on him to end. Eventual ShinjiXHikari contains bashing of most characters because i feel they used Shinji
1. Chapter 1

"Due to Emergency all trains are currently closed

Here is the first installment of my eva ground hogs day story partly inspired by perfect lionheart's chunin exam day. Not really much to say but chapters are going to be few and far between and ideas on what should happen are welcome because that's the main reason the chapters are going to be so far apart.

Start

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"Due to an emergency all trains are currently closed. Please head to the closest shelter," repeated the phone in Shinji's hand, but he just stood there with glazed over eyes.

Confused and deeply alone Shinji just stood there with the phone to his ear. The last thing he remembered was murdering every human on earth by collapsing all of the A.T. fields.

While Shinji stood there absorbed in self-loathing and regret a car pulled up and someone walked toward him.

"Misato," he whispered, a small blush formed on his face remembering what she promised they would do when the met again. His face then became full of regret and sadness, as he remembered how he had left her to die at the elevator so he could get to his Eva.

She must have over heard him as she cheerily answered "Yep, that's me. And you must be Shinji-kun. Come on, we have to move quickly."

Shinji followed silently to overwhelmed by Misato being still alive after he seeing her dying to put up any sort of protest.

After driving for a while Misato turned to Shinji, the car swerving slightly, and asked if he had received any identification. Looking around the car Shinji noticed that there was a backpack at his feet. Not knowing where else to look he dug through it. Inside he found the ID card Misato was asking about and some letter that looked vaguely familiar. Ignoring the letter for the moment he showed the ID card to Misato.

"Good." Misato then reached across Shinji, smiling as she noticed his blush do to her breasts touched his legs, while she dug threw her glove compartment and pulled out a pamphlet he recognized as another copy of the same pamphlet she had given him the first time she had driven him to NERV. Handing it to him she said "Read this it will help explain what's going on."

Shinji took the pamphlet but just stared at it already knowing how it was just useless pro NERV propaganda.

After driving onto the express train to NERV Misato tried to amaze Shinji by pointing out that NERV was built inside a real Geofront, but he just sat there staring at the cover of the pamphlet barely even blinking.

Once the train stopped they both got out and Shinji, still in a confused daze, started walking to Unit 01's hanger. Misato tried to lead get him to follow her there because she didn't think he could know where they were going, but he ignored her and just kept walking in a daze.

Along the way they came across Ritsuko who Misato tried to introduce to Shinji but he just ignored them both and kept walking.

"What's he doing?" Ritsuko asked as Shinji just walked by ignoring her.

Misato shrugged then said, "As soon as we got out of my car he just started walking away and I can't convince him to stop. Something's wrong with him Rits, his eyes look completely empty like there's no one in there. It's really sad."

"Well I don't know about that, but at least he seems to be going the right direction, I thought I was going to find and save you."

"Hay, this place is like a maze and I'm still learning my way around!"

"Sure, sure. Now hurry up we don't want to lose him."

They quickly catch up with Shinji before entering a darkened room. The lights turn on and Ritsuko, with a small amount of sarcasm, exclaims "Behold, the salvation of mankind."

"Mother." Shinji gasped at seeing the hulking monster of Unit 01. Memories of how his father trapped his mother's soul into it rushing through his head. It then hit him how alone and confused he is, how much he wants to just die to save everyone the pain of having to put up with his pathetic ness.

Gendo, standing above Shinji, was briefly disturbed that when he called Unit 01 mother, but ignored it figuring that Shinji just remembers that Yui had something to do with Unit 01.

"Yes Shinji, this is the compilation of your mothers work, and you are to pilot it."

As Shinji's eyes moved from Unit 01 to Gendo, they seem to penetrate him to the core. Gendo was surprised by the emptiness of his eyes.

After Shinji stared at his father for a few seconds he just nods his head, handing his backpack to a dazed Misato he goes with Ritsuko as she shows him where he needs to go.

"You can't just send him out like that! It took Rei months to be able to sync to a usable level and you're just going to send your own son out there without any training!" Misato burst at the Commander as she realized what was happening.

"Know your place Captain, he is the only valid pilot we have at the moment. Now attend to your duties." Gendo sternly warned Misato.

Shinji sat placidly in the entry plug as it was inserted then filled with the familiar blood tasting L.C.L

Ritsuko was shocked when Shinji didn't panic about the rising L.C.L and started breathing it.

"Sempai, his sync ratio is at 80!" Maya shouted to Ritsuko.

"What?! Check it again that can't be right."

"Already done Sempai. All three Magi are in agreement."

"We just might have a have a chance then," Misato murmured to herself before shouting orders to prep and launch Unit 01 to the surface.

Shinji sat in Unit 01 ignoring the bridge crew's chatter when he suddenly felt an odd pressure building in his mind. It was as if something was trying to look into the very center of himself. After a moment the pressure went away but was suddenly replaced by a feeling of love and acceptance. In a flash of insight, which knocked him out of his self-loathing, he realized it he was his mothers love and he knew what he needed to do.

"Ok Shinji, now you need to think of walking. Putting one foot in front of the other, and the Eva should move with you."

After a couple seconds of continued silence and lack of movement from Unit 01 every one on the bridge at NERV started to become worried.

"Shinji, you need to start moving. If you don't the Angel with destroy us all," Misato said, worry edging into her voice.

"Sempai you have to look at this!" Maya worriedly said. Ritsuko and Misato walked over to where she was pointing to a screen showing video from the plug and another monitoring Shinji's vital signs.

On the screen showing the inside of the plug Shinji seemed to be just sitting there gazing into the distance without blinking. The monitor displaying his vital signs showed them to be dangerously erratic and that his sync ratio was had just reached 100 and was still rising quickly.

"Shinji listen to me! Whatever you are doing you need to stop it. You need to calm down your sync ratio is rising to high!"

"I thought higher sync ratios were better for piloting. What's wrong with how his is rising?" Misato asked.

"If he reaches a sync ratio of 400 he will pass his ego border and is A.T field will collapse and he's just passed 250 and is rising faster." Ritsuko told her then turned to the rest of the bridge crew snapping out orders to shut the Eva down. She knew if they shut Unit 01 down there would be problems getting it back up running to defeat the angel but if Shinji's sync ratio reached 400 they wouldn't have anyone to pilot.

"Unit 01 is refusing all commands and just shifted over to internal batteries."

Shinji was oblivious to the growing panic in NERV. All he could think about was seeing his mother again. When the world flashed white then everything turned black. Shinji suddenly realized he wasn't in Unit 01 anymore. In fact he seemed to be lying on a beach with his head was in someone's lap. Their hands soothingly ran threw his hair. He could hear the gentle rolling of the ocean and the person next to him was humming a peaceful tune. He opened his eyes, not remembering closing them, and realizing that was why everything had been black. As his eyes adjust to the much brighter beach then the plug he had just been in he started to make out the face of a women looking over him. Finally focusing his eyes Shinji realizes it's his mother's voice he's hearing hum and his head is in her lap. He lunges up tackling her in a hug as he starts to sob.

"I killed them. I killed them all. They're all dead because of me. Misato, Asuka, Rei, everyone!" Shinji sobs into his mother's shoulder.

"Hush now baby, it's not your fault." Yui whispers into his ear while gently rubbing his back trying to help him calm down.

"When you got into Unit 01 if felt how full of self-loathing and depressed you were. I couldn't imagine what would do that to my little Shin-chan, you were such a happy baby. So I looked through your memories and I tell you right now mister, this wasn't at all your fault. It was that evil group SEELE and that bastard Gendo, who is at fault for this, not you. So please calm down. Everything will be all right now that you're with me, son."

"But…but what's happening? I was so alone and depressed all I wanted to do was die. Then I saw a giant white Rei and…and…" Shinji tried to say as he once again broke out into racking sobs to. Squizing his mother tight, afraid that if he loosened up his grip for even a second she would leave him like everyone else had.

"Sshh, sshh. Its ok baby. Let me explain what I know and then we can work out what you should do now, ok?"

"Ok Mom" Shinji sniffles finally calming down again.

"Gendo and I had been married for a little while when we were both hired by the think tank GEHIRN. He was such a sweet man back then and we were really in love. Dr. Katsuragi, Dr. Naoko Akagi, along with Dr. Sohryu Kyouko Zeppelin worked there too."

"You mean Misato's father, and Asuka's and Ritsuko's mothers and you all worked together?" Shinji asked surprised.

"Well we all worked for GEHIRN but we didn't really work together. We were all heads of different projects. Now let me continue with my story. In 2000 Dr Katsuragi lead a mission to the North Pole. I didn't really know why as I had a different project I was focused on. Also I was pregnant with you." Yui said, smiling and gently smoothing Shinji's hair.

"I'm sad to say that some of all this is my fault. Not only did I develop Unit 01 but I was so focused on all I was able to do with the equipment GEHIRN supplied I didn't do anything until everyone in the Katsuragi Expedition died, except for that poor girl Misato. And at the same time Second Impact happened but GEHIRN and the UN announced it was a meteor instead of what really happened. That's when I knew something was I didn't like was going on. I started digging after that and found out that GEHIRN was really run by an organization called SEELE which seem to have been around since at least the Dark Ages. They discovered some text called the Dead Sea Scrolls which they seem to be following. It describes approximately when the Angels are going to come and in what order and what they need to do to for their Human Complementation Project. Those evil men are trying to evolve all humans into a 'New Stage' but actually it will just form all humans into a single being with no individually, no hope, love, or happiness, nor hate, or fear." She said with disgust.

"I couldn't think of anything I could do to stop them without endangering you or Gendo until I realized, as horrible as it was, for the Evas to work they needed a human soul. I didn't tell anyone this because if they had known they wouldn't have let me be the first test pilot. Then right before the test I made notes of everything I had discovered and left them in a place where only Gendo would find them. I figured if I became the soul of Unit 01 I could help you and we could stop Third Impact from happening. Unfortunately by looking at your memories I can see something went wrong and all I was able to do was make the Eva go berserk for you."

"Unfortunately my death and absorption into Unit 01 effected Gendo much worse then I thought it would. He found my notes like I planned, but unlike my plan he focused on how if he went along with SEELE's plan he could be united with me. That to do so he would have to ruin your life and kill countless people to do so didn't affect him." She grumbled.

"But how do you know that last part?" Shinji asked, stating to feel more sure of himself being in his mothers care.

"Even though I couldn't communicate with anyone I could still for some reason hear what was going on around me, and Gendo the self centered bastard, is still lonely and spent many hours talking to Unit 01 and explaining how we would be together again." Yui finished as the world suddenly started rocking.

"What's happening now?" Shinji whined fearfully.

"Don't worry Shin-chan. I knew this would happen, I just hopped we would have had more time. Without you to stop Sachiel, there's nothing to stop it from starting third impact. We've only had this much time together because I can slow down the passing of time in here. But don't worry Shin-chan I have a feeling your life will look up from here on out." She said smiling and standing up, bringing Shinji into a hug.

"But I just finally met you again I don't want to have to leave you so soon" Shinji said tightening the hug.

"Don't worry, I'll always be here in Unit 01. I'm not sure what's happening to you but it seems that you're getting a second chance. So believe in yourself and if you ever need to talk again I'll be here waiting for you.

"Ok Mom, I trust you." Shinji said

"And always remember to wear fresh underwear." Yui said trying to hold in a laugh.

"Mom! I'm 14 you don't need to remind me of that." Shinji blushed

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"Due to an emergency all trains are currently closed. Please head to the closest shelter."

end

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Notes:

I hate not understanding what's going on in a story I'm reading so here's the basic outline. Shinji is stuck in a time loop like in ground hogs day. The world resets under two conditions; (1) if an angel wins, (2) if Shinji dies. I guess that's really only one condition because if an angel wins Shinji will die.

Any way the goal, unknown to Shinji, is to make it through a reset defeating all the angels, making sure his friends survive, falling in love with Hikari, and making sure Gendo and the Committee are brought to justice. There will be various things thrown at him and after the next chapter he'll probably finally defeat the third angel and be able to continue on for a little while.


	2. Chapter 2

"Due to Emergency all trains are currently closed

Sorry with how short this chapter is but I need Shinji to die a lot at the beginning to help change his personality and so he can learn the ropes of how this how time loop thing works. Unfortunately don't expect the next chapter for a while

Start

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"Due to Emergency all trains are currently closed. Please head to the closest shelter," repeated the phone in Shinji's hand. Shinji just stood there thinking over all his mother had just said to him. This time he was going to do things differently.

Soon Misato arrived and after a brief exchange of words they were on their way to NERV and then to Unit 01's cage.

"…and I want you to pilot it." Gendo finally said, but Shinji was ready this time.

"NO." Shinji said in a loud strong voice.

"What did you say Third Child?!" Gendo demanded of Shinji

"I said n-n-NO" Shinji repeated slowly breaking under Gendo's gaze.

"Reset Unit 01 for Rei and tell her she has to pilot again." said Gendo, now ignoring Shinji.

"Don't do it Father. You know that won't work." Shinji pleaded

"You have no say here as long as you refuse to pilot. So I suggest you keep quite Third Child."

Just then Rei was wheeled out on a cart. Seeing her like that again after all this time was to much for Shinji, he snapped.

Misato was surprised as Shinji suddenly turned and gave her a quick hug. She was terrified though when Shinji stepped away from their hug and pointed her gun at the commander and a shot rang out. Misato was confused as the Commander looked fine when she heard a body slump to the floor.(1)

"Oh my God, Shinji!" she yelled rushing to him, "someone get a doctor quick!"

"It's ok Misato, I didn't want to work for that bastard anyway, and now I'll be able to try again.

"I didn't realize dyeing was so painful. God it hurts." he paused, drawing in a raspy breath, "Now I know for next time pulling a gun on him is a bad," He laughed as if it was some kind of joke but his laughter quickly turned into a horrible cough.

"Shh don't talk you're just making it worse. Besides you're not making any sense, what do you mean next time?" Misato pleaded with him, but it was to late. Shinji's eyes closed then his breathing slowed to a stop.

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"Due to an emergency all trains are currently…"

end

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Notes:

(1) I don't know where to put it in the story. It was a Section 2 agent who shot Shinji for drawing a weapon on the Commander.

I was worried that Shinji changed to fast in this chapter but I don't think he did. Yes he argued with his father but he had trouble doing it and yes he drew a gun on his father but he didn't shoot him and if Shinji hadn't been shot he still wouldn't have been able to shoot his father.


	3. Chapter 3

This time shinji is going to try to do what gendo wants until the time is right

Don't worry although when Shinji resets he starts over at the phone at the train station the next chapter will start later and this is probably the last time at least for a while that he starts at the train stating on works his way forward instead of a time skip.

Someone pointed out that Shinji seems to be pretty ok with dieing and yah, that's a problem but I'm not sure how to fix it.

Start

# of repeats at start of chapter: 3

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"Due to an emergency all trains are currently…"

Shinji let go of the phone and grabbed his chest.

"No pain," he said in surprise releasing his chest. He then started planning on what to do this time around.

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"…and I want you to pilot it." Gendo finally said, but Shinji was ready this time.

"ok"

"You can't just send him out like that! It took Rei months to be able to sync to a usable level and you're just going to send your own son out there without any training!" Misato burst at the Commander as she realized what was happening.

"Know your place Captain, he is the only valid pilot we have at the moment. Now attend to your duties." Gendo sternly warned Misato.

During this conversation Shinji had walked to Unit 01's entry plug and entered.

Shinji sat down, hating the bloody taste of L.C.L as it filled the plug.

Ritsuko was shocked when Shinji didn't panic about the rising L.C.L and started breathing it.

"Sempai, his sync ratio is at 80!" Maya shouted to Ritsuko.

"What?! Check it again that can't be right."

"Already done Sempai. All three Magi are in agreement."

"We just might have a have a chance then," Misato murmured to herself before shouting orders to prep and launch Unit 01 to the surface.

Misato was about to tell Shinji how to make his Eva walk when he ran off the platform.

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"That was amazing Shinji, how did you know how to do all of that?" Ritsuko asked.

He had just been checked out by doctors after being recovered from Unit 01 and was still sitting in the exam room.

"Um…it just felt right." Shinji lamely explained hoping Ritsuko would think it was his mothers doing.

"Well you did a good job out there Shinji, just next time listen to what I have to tell you," Misato said ruffling his hair.

"Aye aye Major" he said will giving her Misato a silly salute.

"I wish, I'm only a Captain. Any come on I've been made your guardian so I'll show you to your new house.

Shinji wanted to ask if he could see Rei before they left but realized he had already slipped once with calling Misato a major and he didn't want to mess up again when he wasn't supposed to have even met Rei this time around yet. He silently promised himself he would visit her as soon as he could.

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A week had passed since Shinji had defeated the third angel and he was finally told he had to start going to school again.

It was nice to spend time with Misato and Pen Pen again, Shinji thought. Even though he was stuck with all the cooking and cleaning again he didn't mind that much as it gave him something to do to occupy his mind, and their apartment _really_ needed cleaning.

Shinji was suddenly brought out of his thoughts as he heard the other students at school whispering when the saw him, letting him know he had finally arrived at school.

Ignoring the whispers he calmly walked to class 2-A where he met Hikari.

As soon as he entered the class room she walked up to him and bowed saying " Hello I am Horaki Hikari. I am the Representative for class 2-A. Do you have your school laptop?" seeing his nod she continued on "Good, then you can take the empty seat over there. If you have any questions feel free to ask me." Hikari said with a smile bowing again, then walked off to another part of the classroom.

Turning to face the room the first thing Shinji thought was that all these kids must be pilot candidates. He wondered if they were all missing their mothers like him and Asuka. Looking some more he spotting Rei sitting in the back of the classroom looking out the window like normal but decided now wasn't the time to try and talk to her.

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"Are you a new pilot? Y/N" Shinji's computer beeped at him during the teacher's long speech on Second Impact.

Remembering the results of last time Shinji answered "No" then closed his laptop so as not to receive any more messages.

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Walking out of school once it was over, Shinji was confused that Kensuke and Toji hadn't confronted him yet, when he heard the tail end of an argument.

"…re careful. Because of you my little sister was hurt. You think just because you're in a robot means you can romp around?!" Shinji hears Toji yell.

Rushing toward the yelling he see Kensuke standing next to Toji as he Shouts at Rei and it looks like Toji's raising his arm to hit her.

Rushing forward Shinji grabs Toji's arm surprising everyone there. Toji stairs at Shinji for a moment what both Shinji and Rei's cell phones go off.

Releasing Toji's arm Shinji turns to Rei and says that there must be an emergency and they should head to NERV.

As Shinji and Rei are walking away Kensuke suddenly turned to the still stunned Toji. "Dude, he must be the new Pilot! How else did he know Ayanami and he said they should go to NERV. You were attacking the wrong person."

Hearing this Toji turned and punched the nearby tree in frustration. Promising he would get that new kid for hurting his little sister.

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Shinji was unable to get any sort of conversation out of Rei besides a small nod of thanks for stopping Toji and as soon as they arrived at NERV they prepped for battle and launched.

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Shinji in Unit 01 had just avoided on the Fourth Angel's tentacles when he was able to throw the angel in at a nearby hill.

"Watch where you throw the angel, there are civilian shelters in the hill near where you just threw the angel." Misato's voice warned him.

"Huh" Shinji said focusing in on the ground the angel just had stood up from when he noticed to small red smears on the hill. Looking farther he noticed a shelter with a destroyed shelter. He suddenly remembered how the last time he fought this angel he was the one who had been thrown into the hill and had almost killed his two friends.

"NNNNNOOOOOO!!" Shinji shouted realizing what those two smears meant and that also meant the rest of his class mates where in that shelter. "I'm the only one who needs to repent! I'm the only one who should have to suffer! I'm the only one who can't die!"

"Shinji what are you talking about?" Misato asked worry evident in her voice, "Just calm down. Whatever is bothering you we can deal with once you defeat this angel."

"NO don't you see! I need to save them, I must save them!"

"MA'AM! Shinji's activated the self destruct and some how locked me out of Unit 01"

"What! Shinji calm down. This won't help anything. Killing yourself will only make things worse."

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"Due to an emergency all trains are currently…"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Shinji yelled even though the pain had ended. He yelled as if in defiance of the very heavens themselves. Then he broke down crying.

He didn't want this. To keep having to deal his bastard of a father, seele, people who called themselves his friends only to use him. It was too much. But wait, why did he have to put up with them? He was in a time loop. He'd already died four times so obviously death didn't affect him. He could put this to use. He would watch. He would observe. He would listen. Then he would act and if that didn't work he could just try again and again until he got it right, but what is 'it'.

What did he want? Well he wanted to friends, real friends not like Toji and Kensuke. He wanted to be loved and to have a family but he wasn't sure how to go about those two. He wanted to stop his father and SEELE from succeeding. It wasn't much but it was a start for now.

Finally calming down from the traumatic events of the last reset he rubbed the tears from his eyes and waited for Misato to show up.

End

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Notes:

I so was not expecting Shinji to commit suicide. Origianly he was going to be so distraught over either falling or having the angel fall on toji and kensuke that the angel would be able to kill him but then I realized I was planning on having shinji not like those two which wouldn't give him a good enough reason to let the angel kill him. That's why I made the shelter over there and destroyed by the angel and also why instead of being killed by the angel he blew himself up so they would all be alive again.

I've always had problem with L.C.L. There are real liquid breathing system but one of the main problems is while you can throw up the contents of your stomach you can't throw up the contents of your lungs so they have to be pumped to clear them.. Also I would think your breathing muscles would get tired quicker because L.C.L is thicker then air and so takes more effort to breath in and out.


	4. rewrite notice

I am sorry to say that I don't like how this story is turning out so I'm going to redo it

I am sorry to say that I don't like how this story is turning out so I'm going to redo it. I'll repost it when I can and I would like to thank everyone who gave me good help and ideas on how to continue. Hopefully I will have the reedited version up soon.


End file.
